(On February 11, 2011, Hosni Mubarak stepped down as the president of Egypt and the country burst at the seams with a sense of victory and boundless potential. After celebrating all night with friends, I got home the morning of February 12 and immediately started writing this poem about the 18 days of protests. Feeling relieved and elated, I couldn’t stop crying. We had won. One year later, it’s hard to admit, I spoke too soon. We celebrated too soon. Still, this is how I felt then.)
I didn’t know I could dream
Surrendered to this nightmare long ago
I thought I was all alone
Visualized a future I couldn’t own
Walked on a borrowed land
Feeling disloyal and jaded
I didn’t know freedom
Out of the fray and out in the cold
Felt odd to bump into you on this road
Couldn’t smile or look you in the eye
I didn’t know you were me all along
Didn’t think one day we would write this song
I cried for you and felt your pain
My helpless tears wanted to protect you
Wanted to hold your hand
I didn’t see you reaching out, for me
I didn’t know freedom was near
I was always afraid
Slept with dictators in my head
They told me we were different
That we couldn’t understand
They put us in classes
You looked down as I looked up
They widened rifts and deepened valleys
Frustrated, we ran in circles
Looking out for number one, me me and me
You I never knew, you I never looked to
We were never meant to meet in the street
We were not supposed to stand
Shoulder-to-shoulder on this brave bridge
Never allowed to bathe
In the sunlight of this nation
While shouting in the square: Liberation!
I didn’t know freedom would come so soon
They once blew up our sacred unity
But here we birthed harmony
And crossed the crescent with hope
Played music to prayers’ call
We were meant to be on opposite sides
Pitted against the other, daggers ready to pounce
I thought I needed to protect myself
I didn’t know you would die for me
Gave up your life so I could be free
We walked through the toxic air
Marched through floods of water
And we met on the other side
Scattered at first but then solidified
I didn’t know freedom could be so fatal
Wait, but I knew you all along
I knew we were millions-strong
I knew we could roar
Shake this throne to its core
I saw this in a dream
Not knowing it could be real
They knew if we gathered here
Our weight would topple the regime
Our bond would break barricades of fear
Fists would shatter their false security
Chants would put them in a trance
I didn’t know freedom would come so fast
We weren’t supposed to meet this way
I didn’t know it’s us they should fear
You weren’t supposed to die here
I didn’t know how loud we could scream
Enough to pierce their deafened ears
Riddled with rubber bullets, made us stronger
Beaten with batons toughened our stride
Revolution brewing in our minds
Strength in numbers against the tide
And we grew and sprawled this nation wide
Dotting the Nile, conquering the square
Man next to woman
Laughing and praying, dancing and singing
Our positive vibes reverberating
I didn’t know freedom would sound so grand
The battle medieval we fought victorious
Fortified front lines, from the trenches we rise
Storms of rocks and molotovs
Bullets ricocheting off innocent lives
A parade of camel hooves trampling over hearts
Weapons swinging from horseback
Armed with unity against the attack
And we fell and crawled
Blood sprawled over the city
Anger boiling in every home
Made believers out of the self-righteous
And naysayers sang a new tune
Millions on the wavelength of truth
We unmasked the enemy, defeated they ran
Come back with more, they didn’t dare
Beaming with resilience, triumph was ours
Huddled in camps to pass the darkest hours
When the sun rose and we flooded the streets
The earth rumbled beneath our feet
Strategizing ways to scare us away
Brought more of us together every day
Who knew freedom would bring us here?
Their empty rhetoric dashed our hopes
But no going home, he’ll leave, we won’t
Bring down the house, the people demand
Get out we said, don’t you understand?
Our strained voices drowned out this man
After years of tears and heavy hearts
One line, finally: He will depart
And the people, we cheered and started to fly
Our flags, elated, canvassed the skies
You are Egyptian, hold your head high
We run the streets now
We own this land
We bet on the future
And won it back
We’ll paint the cities
A fresh coat of life
I didn’t know freedom would come so soon
I didn’t know freedom could come at all
I didn’t know freedom…But now I do
*Amira Salah-Ahmed
